Barney Fife comes to Highlands

Highlands is like Mayberry: quiet, civilized, peaceful. Second-home owners make up a large segment of the population, many of them older and retired.

About the only thing you'll see in the weekly crime report is somebody's cat having to be rescued from a tree, so when the local police force recently purchased nine new police cars to supplement the five it already had, it seemed a bit excessive.

Do you remember the old Andy Griffith Show episode where Andy goes out of town, leaving Barney in charge? An overly zealous Barney goes nuts, arresting most of the town, including Aunt Bee, Opie, and the mayor.

That comes close to describing what's going on in Highlands: to justify all the law being enforced in our tiny crime-free burg, a few cowboys with badges are harassing this gentle citizenry until everyone's now afraid to have even a glass of wine at the already recession-stricken local restaurants.

Not content with that, they have taken to parking their shiny new vehicles around town, with dummies in the driver's seats. At least these inanimate fellows are exhibiting more good sense than their real-life counterparts.

Move over, Barney!